(Sorry for the absence, got 2 fat on fonzies and jam and taters lols haha #ha-Frodo's friend that runs the blog.)
Hey hey its Frodo here.
I was getting rather tired of this troll business. They
often whacked me on the head with their stupid clubs while they made ‘music’.
I don’t want to be raised by these nitwits. They kept trying
to feed me jam. I CAN’T EAT IT, YOU FOOLS. NO DIGESTIVE SYTEM, REMEMBER?
So, a month after being raised by these idiots, I have
returned to the castle.
Baileyswift tended to my needs. He’s so good to me.
We had this “Welcome Back” feast of aromas. Oh it was
delightful.
But, I realized I had to return to Prince School.
Dang nabbit fling flabbit.
At school, there were all these totes gorg princesses.
The Next day, I woke up, had those birds dress me, and went to school.
The princesses I met last time, like amber and Hildegard and
Clio, all hid from me as I walked through the school halls.
Probs jealous of my beautiful new threads (I’m wearing a
pink dress totes tubular right?).
That twerker James gave me dirty looks- probs cause I kicked
his butt while we fenced. Ha. Hope to crush him and his girly friends again
later today.
I went to my first class-gardening- with this kid Zandar and
these new princesses.
Zandar never shut up about elephants and cannons. He said he
and that wimp James build cannons all the time and eat epehphant shaped cookies
(although James eats all kinds of cookies and jiggly wiggly pudding. He’s
apparently a sugar addicted little kid. Wow. I wonder what he’s like on sugar. Is he fat? Obese?)
So, I approached one of the other princesses in gardening.
I smiled at her and said, “Hey babe. You’re as beautiful as
that rose you got in your hands.”
She gasped, frowned at me, stomped my foot, and stormed
away. “My name is Penellope, and I do not assosiate myself with Salivating
Gnats!”
I honestly don’t know why she is offended. The rose she had in her hands was
beautiful- black like burnt foam. Ahh, I love the smell of burnt foam.
The fat fairies assigned us a gardening partner. My partner
was Mae. She was quite pretty, accept smelled like flowers. Ugh, I can’t live
with that.
We were making Pantsing Pansies who were walking pansies
that put pants on EVERYTHING when the door broke down.
Zandar screamed and cried and of the fat fairies comforted
him. Through the dust and rubble, a fat child walked in.
It was Cubby, Ahh, cubby. The fat raisen shooting nightlock
shooting manstealing manchild. I desperately wanted to feed him my foam, for he
stole beautiful Lucinda from me.
Alas, he had gained like 900 pounds since I last encountered
him.
He was that fat.
“So, we meet again,” I said with a scowl.
“Totes yes. But, THIS IS BUT A FRIENDLY GATHERING.I have a
gift fo’ you.”
He handed me a jar of jam. It had a label, but I can’t read.
It was okay, though because Cubby told me it was nightlock jam.
“I can’t eat this, dude, I have no digestive system!”
“Oh,” replied cubby, “I know. It’s okay. Just sniff it, one
sniff and it will be the greatest moment of your life!”
“REALLY? WOW OMG LIKE YES I LOVE LIFE TBH HASHTAG YES
HASHTHAG SWAG HASHTAG HASHTAGHASHTAG LIFE>LIFE HAHA OMG YAY! I NEED TO HAVE
THE BEST MOMENT EVER LIKE YES CAN YOU YES!”
I began to unscrew the lid and was about to sniff the jam
when I heard a “NO!”
Confused, I drop the jar. Cubby screams in horror, as the
nightlock jam lands on his shoes. He drops to the ground, yelling, “I’M MELTING
I’M MELTING.” I laugh, and dump more of the jam on him. “I’m melting, I’m
melting.” He begins to cry as welts cover his body. He goes limp.
Two girls, twins, probs, run through the doors. They have
fat cheeks. The hold this really huge tranquilizer gun in their hands.
When they speak, I realize they were the girls who shouted
‘NO’ before. They then see cubby on the ground, lift up the gun, and pull the
trigger. Yellow liquid squirts out and douses Cubbby’s lifeless body.
A few moments later, I see him twitch. Drools comes out of
his mouth. I bend over his body, dip my finger in his rool, and press it to my
tongue.
“He is alive, unfortunately!” I announce. I turn to the
twins, “Hey, what was in those guns?”
“Nightlock remedy,” one answers. “Nightlock kills you if you eat it, and, if
you touch the juice, you can get rashes and if you smell it, you can go into a
coma. Cubby, here, was trying to put you in a coma. I tried to stop him, but he
ended up getting hurt himself.”
“Oh, thanks. But you didn’t have to save him. “ I replied.
All of the sudden, this guy with spiky black hair swinging
on a vine wearing a shirt that reads ‘Hi I’m Jake’ just swings on in the
classroom. Lol.
He lands on the floor and sees Cubby’s body. “Oh yeah tha
chubby cubby is dead lolz”
Then cubby gets up and begins to dance.
Then some stuff happens but lolz I forgot and then I went
home yay. I wonder what tomorrow shall bring for the Prince of LockaSocka.
