Sunday, June 30, 2013

Shoppin with Frodo

Today, me and the other blogger, and another friend are going to the mall with frodo.

Someone stole his only pair of breeches, so we need to get new ones. It's pretty ironic, how they were stolen, because he never takes them off...

Well at the mall we're going to check out Breechpostale, Breechister, Breechercrombie, and Breech-Gap, to see if we can find some breeches he likes. We'll probably get them from Breechpostale because they're having a really good sale on neon breeches. Foamin Frodo with a Fro is really sick of brown breeches, and is in the mood for a brighter change. 

After we find him one, or even two pairs of breeches, were going to Breechbucks to get him some iced coffee for him to smell. He hates the smell of coffee, but loves the smell off coffee, kind of like how I love iced tea, but don't like tea. 

At BreechBucks, they put mini breeches on your beverage. 


Then, we're going to BreechV.S. To buy lots of gummi candies. 

Then, we'll go to Forever Breechy-One and get some matching shirts. 
This shall be us. I call the old man with the sexy sideburns! 
The other blogger will be one of the pantless kids along with frodo, and my other friend shall be the woman with the huge glasses. 
Mkkkkaayyy? Btw while I am that guy I should be called elvis. 
Call me elvis, baby. 
After that we're going to Breechdonals, and scaring the parents and children away by telling them how naassssstttyyyy theeir food is. We'll lecture them bout GMO's and animal abuse and watch the workers SUFFFFFFFEEERRR. 

or we'll just go play in the Breech Ball Pit. 


AND GO ON THE CAROUSEL DOLLFACES! 

AND THROW FRODO OFF THE CAROUSEL! 

Luckily he doesn't go on this blog or he's be pretty mad right now....asdfghjkl

Hmm where else should we go? HMMMMMMMM I DON'T KNOW BUT LET'S HAVE A BREECHSWORDFIGHT
LET ME TELL YOU HOIW TO HAVE A PROPER BREECHSWORDFIGHT

Step 1. Gather up everyone in a public place with many people.

Step 2. Invade a store that sells foam swords, foam knives, nerf guns, lightsabers, and those bow and arrows with sticky ends or any other FAKE weapon (by that i mean HARMLESS, well, mostly harmless). Buy everything they have. 

Step 3. Arm the people in the public place.

Step 4. Divide them into teams. As many teams as you want. 

Step 5. Give each team a color. Give every member a penny with that color. If you want to get all snazzyied up, you can make sexy little team shirts with team names, team numbers, etc. Get creative.

Step 6. Begin. Each team should scream "FOR BREECHARNIA!!" (that's a real place btw)

Step 7. Kill each other. Not literally. If you hit people in the head or anywhere in the torso, they die. If you are dead, you must lay on the ground until this round is over. Too bad. No mercy. Also, if any extremities, such as your arm, are hit with a weapon, you can't use that arm. If both legs are cut off, well, you can't walk, so you either have to give up (be dead) or find some sort of wheelchair or hoverround or mall buggy or whatever to ride around and fight in.

Step 8. Each round should last roughly 30 minutes. The team with the most survivors wins a prize (the game organizer can give it to them). If everyone dies, the game end with no winner. If only one team is standing before the 30 minutes are up, they also win. 

Step 9. Have fun! 

^^^We shall totally do this :)

Friday, June 28, 2013

Frodo

Sorry for the slight absense.

I've been having a great summer so far!

Yesterday, Frodo accompanyied me to the annnual jam convention! I was crowned King Of The Jams after i showed them my beautiful_jam_ instagram. They said my devoted love for jam was an inspiration to all children.

Let me tell you about "Beautiful Jam". Beautiful Jam is a photoshoot i did over my vsacation in which I took several pictures of jam with pretty beach- backrounds. Like so:







Random strawberry...


So, you get the idea. I love jam. That's why I'm the king of jam. Bow down to your master.

As for frodo, he was kicked out for breaking too many jam jars at the jam convention.


So bye! :)

Saturday, June 22, 2013

How To Preserve Foam

Ever wanted to harden and preserve frodo's foam?


Well, now you can!

But first, I'll give you an advertisement from the #1 frodo's Foam store.

They come from Uzbekastan, they like foam, and they make it themselves! All natural- Hardened and preserved foam. Real. Authentic. To die for foam that YOU can have in your living room.

$20 an ounce

$50 a pound

(anything over a pund is a Million Dollars! :) )

To touch the foam is $2,000 and to look at the foam is $1,000

This company is at the top of the Foam Market, with top selling rates!

Come to their shop located right next to the Frodo's Pools resort. They are called, "Frodo's Hardened and Preserved Foam."

They now give tips on how YOU can harden and preserve your own FOAM!

1. Collect foam from Frodo's mouth. (20 liters should be enough)

2. Put in frying pan(s) and sizzle over stove at 5°F for 20 minutes. Then, let cool for five minutes at room temperature.

3. Preheat oven for the five minutes the foam is cooling at 320°F. Pour the foam into a large pot and place in oven. Heat at 56°F for 15 minutes.

3. Take pot out of stove, and scrape the foam onto cookie sheets. Place in fridge.

4. After 50 minutes of refridgeration, tie the foam to a thick wooden stick. Place stick over open fire. Have your elf minions turn the stick slowly and steadily to maintain an even temperature. Do this until thick shell forms over foam.

5. Take the foam and boil it in warm water for about 40 minutes. When steam begins to arrise, remove the foam and place on either a paper towel or newspaper (this will help for easy removal).  Leave to dry for about 6 hours. When foam interior hardens into sponge-like material, you can peel the now hardened and preserved foam off.

6. Place foam in cool water for ten minutes. This will form wrinkles in the foam. An easy way to identify wether or not foam is authentic (0r just gorilla glue 0, do the wrinkle test. Identify if on the newspaper foam, there is at least one large foam bbble. Or, if you used a paper towel, you can tell if it is authentic by the thin wrinkle-ridges on the edge of the foam. Also, newspaper foams are called irregular foam. This is because they have a rough texture and irregular shape. Foam placed on paper towels, however, are called smooth foam. This is because they have a smooth texture and a half-spherical shape. Smooth foam is often used for soap at varius hotels because of its cleansing features.
Here is a photo of some Hardened and Preserved foam. This person decided to display their marvelous foam on a specially marketed foam-stand. You can also purchase a foam stand at Frodo's foam

Wednesday, June 19, 2013

Frodo Pooooool

Take out your swimsuit-

NOT your My Little Pony one (what derranged fool would create one of THOSE and what fool-excluding little GIRLS under the age of SIX- would wear one?)


just, no ^

You'll put on your nice disney CARS bathing suit-

And SPLASH into the pool! ☺

☀☁☂ DIVE ON IN! The pool is shaped like a-



You

Did 

Not 

Guess 

it

because

you

probably

guessed

Frodo-

It's not shaped like one thing-

IT'S SHAPED LIKE MANY!

BECAUSE AT FRODOS POOLS, WE HAVE SO MANY POOLS THAT OUR POOL ADDICTION IS UNHEALTHY! YAY! COME ROUND TO OUR RESORT! First, I'll show you a few of our pools.





















Like what you see? Come to Frodo's Pools, located in the heart of Svitzerland. 22-78 Vallaby Vay, Switzerland. (yes we take up lots of space. So? So what if we take up slightly less than 60 houses....) 

60 Dollars per day, per person.

Hotel rooms cost an extra 60 dollars, if you wish to stay over night. IDC if we are in Switzerland, we are an Merican company, and we use merican curency.

You boy in merica. I dun want no more monkey talk, you in MERICA. 

Oh, here's what our hotel looks like. 

Every family gets their own personal shack! Here's the interior: 

The room includes:

A nightstand. 

A phone. A playphone, it doesn't work (budget cuts.)

A tv (Remote is missing. Wires are broken. Do not touch wires or you could die from elyektrikt shock.)

Also, 2 twin beds filled with bedbugs, roaches, bugs, and weird, moving black sand that will cause you to foam for several weeks. Or maybe permanently. One guest resident, Percy jackson, slept in the beds with the moving sand, and now has a form of permenant and non curable foamitis.

Isn't it wonderful? 

Sleep here and you'll feel at home. I hope you stay with us at Frodo's pools- BYE!

Tuesday, June 18, 2013

Foamin Frodo High School

The bell rings.

It's summertime.

But you're not going swimming.

You're going to school!

In the summer! 

YAYAYAYAYAYAYYAYAYAYAYYAYAYAYAYAYAYYAYAYAYA!

In this school, all the staff and employees are frodo's children.

Let's start with all the teachers.

There is the Frodology teacher, who teaches the science, anatomy, and structure of Frodo.
The frodology teacher is Ms. Kirshelle. She is fat, old, and smells of chicken lying in the sun for over 22 hours precisely. She is strict and will sit on students when they get the wrong answer. She also whips them with long sugar glands (aka twizzlers). She spanks them with alligator tooth residue. 

Isn't she lovely. 

The Frodoistory teacher is Mr. Shoog. He teaches the history of the one and only Frodo. The culture, beliefs, and history of Frodoland, a land created by frodo,  and Planet Weird, the province of Uzebekastan, where Frodo was born. It also explains his family tree, and geography. Mr. Shoog is nice and fair, but foams his left nostril. He has long permed nose hairs that he dyed pink. They are gorgeous and leave all the woman dead in his tracks. 

The frodoreading class is taught by Mike Mr.Zowski. This fun teacher forces the children to read the foamin frodo with a fro blog all day long, as well as biographies on frodo's life, and stories of his adventures wqhich include the five novels being: 1. Frodo Voyages to the Bathroom 2. Frodo Ventures to the Mall 3. Frodo Journeys to the Center of the Earth 4. Frodo Adventures with Dora 5. Frodo Takes a Trip Home. 

The Frodo Arts Class. In this class, taught by Ms. Shizzlenizzle, students paint or draw pictures of Frodo. They can also take photos of Frodo, compose/pr play songs about Frodo, sing Frodo Music, Sculpt frodo, learn the Frodo Dances, write like frodo, etc. There are also weekly guests that come from Planet Weird and Frodoland to discuss the styles of music and art from their lovable adults. 

We also have other staff like our Princepal, whivch is obviously frodo.

The janitor is obviously Janitor Saliva.

the physcologist is a MLP.

The nurse is Zeb Zoober from the country bears. 

The lunch ladies are: Tennessee O'Neal, Trixie St. Clair, Ted Bedderhead, and Fred Bedderhead, the country bears. (They have to wear full body hairnets).

Me and My other helper on this website also work at the school. 

She, being Emma, is the school's music teacher, that teaches kids rebellious songs.

I, myself, when not assisting the art class, am violently teaching the children how to assemble and use weapons to their full ability. They call me






KING MADISON OF TINFOIL. 



ATTENTION!

My favorite weapons are swords, axes, and bows and arrows. Children are forbidden to use guns. They use old fashioned weapons. 


My classes include: knife throwing, sword fighting, shooting bow and arrows, and axe combat/axe throwing. 


Join our summer school for fun! 

Sessions are $67 dollars. A session is two hour classes 5 times a week (monday thru friday)

Contact us at: foaminfrodowithafro@fakeemail.com

OR

555-janitorsaliva 

To order a session

If you have questions concerning our school, call 555-jansaliva

If you have questions concerning our teachers call 555-jansalv1

if you have questions concerning if our food is even edible, call 555-jansalv2 

If you have any other questions call 555-jansalv3

THE SALIVA MLP VS. FROAMIES WAR

Hey Emma here U smell like unicorns
the janitor saliva is very stoked about her engagement with frodo.
His fro is froamin' but while his fro is froaming I shall talk about janitor saliva.
And her trajic death.
Apparently she was soooo excited she got saliva overloaded and salivasploded.
Her daughter shall come in her foosteps and saliva all over the poor students of foamin' frodo high school.
As u know, this daughter reeks of unicorns and she must be prosecuted by her reakedness. She reeks of unicorns so horrible she has to be taken to jail for all ETERNITY AND DEAD FOREVER BEFORE SHE SCARRS CHILDREN OF FOAMIN FRODO HIGH SCHOOL SHE IS A DISGRACE TO FOAMANKIND . Her yellow eyes make children helplessly vulnerable to her saliva which gets worse and worse and is CONTAGIOUS TO STUDENTS OF FOAMIN FRODO HIGH!!!!







THE STUDENTS CANNOT BE VULNERABLE TO HER SALIVA THERE WILL BE AN ARMY OF JANITOR SALIVAS!!!!! NOOOOOO!!!! There shall be a WAR between the FROAMINS AND SALIVATORS!! We MUST PREPARE AND PREVAIL!! SALIVA MUST BE TAKEN DOWN! THE PONIES! THE MY LITTLE PONIES ARE JOINING FORCES WITH SALIVA!! FROAMIN FRODOS MUST UNITE AND PREVAIL OVER THE MLP/ SALIVA ARMIES!!
-U smell like unicorns-✌

Thursday, June 13, 2013

Frodo extra info

Frodo rides a really cool car.

It's a triangular car. And it's balloon powered. The wheels are really skinny, like giant DVD disks. It's flower powered. But today his car broke down, so were making him a new one. An edible car-S'MORE THEMED WITH CANDY AND POSSIBLE CARROT WHEELS. It will be amazing. And it will run on marshmallow power and pixie stick dust. The engine will be made of energy bars. A s'more base. And more. Frodo loves his cars.

Frodo also went to disney today. He bought some ice cream but remember-HE DOESN'T EAT! So he smelled it out of his second nostril. It smelled like unicorn dung. To him, ice cream smells REAL bad. So, disgusted by it, he launched it at a nearby grandmother. When it hit her, she fell over in schock, hit the cement, and was knocked out cold.

Frodo was getting chased down by those weird people that dress up like Disney characters. Making a hasty escape, he jumped on the nearest ride- THE CAROSOUL! But little did he know, the Disney characters went on the horses RIGHT behind him. They were gaining on him slowly, he knew their horses would get him quick. So he hopped up-MID RIDE-(that little dauntless rebel)- and ran to the creepy resteraunt with the scary aliens that sing when you eat. He then took a waiters clothes, and dressed himself (YAY HE DRESSED HIMSELF WITHOUT MOMMY'S HELP YAY GOLDSTAR) and rode on a nearby unicorn all the way over the rope bridge to this resteraunt with really good milkshakes. He purchased a Cotten candy flavored milkshake with lots of ketchup (so what if he couldn't eat, he can still inhale!) But when he asked the southern waitress with glasses for ketchup, she screamed, "KETCHUP!!!" And all these midgets ran over to him, supplying him with like 20 bottles of ketchup. He was so confused that he sniffed the milkshake, not knowing that it was made of ketchup, and instantly a putrid aroma entered his second nostril. He was so utterly disgusted that he vomited and then randomly started chucking ketchup bottles everywhere, knocking out several customers.

But as he was about to make a run for it, he was tackled by the Disney characters.... He now sits behind bars in the Cinderella castle jail. Problem is, IT'S MADE PF ICE CREAM AND IT STINKS LIKE CHICKEN NUGGETS ON A HOT SUMMER DAY! <iframe src="http://widget.stagram.com/follow/dumbledores_footsie_pajamas" style="height:27px;" frameborder="0"></iframe>

Wednesday, June 12, 2013

Sucipicious Anatomy


Guys. This is bad. Janitor saliva is dead.

Dead.

Dead.

Two days after the wedding, she was found dead in her bedroom, with bite marks all over her body.

Frodo is deveastated.

Two wives down.

I should feel bad for him.

But I don’t. I think he’s up to something. I don’t know what it is, but I know these deaths weren’t accidential.

I’m sorry If Im turning this blog into something dramatic. But it’s just so hard for me right now, with Frodo.

So we’ll discuss the anatomy of Frodo.

When Frodo becomes really hot, he stops foaming. This is a sign of dehydration. We know that Frodo gets enough vites to last one whole day. Hiwever, he doesn’t use all the vites. Some are stored away, in his storage center, in his body. These are for emergencies. It is like the energy you don’t use, which is stored in fat. But for him, he stores vites. If he becomes really hot or exerts too much energy, he’ll foam rapidly, like when you sweat. But sometimes he is too hot for so long that he uses up all of his vites at once. He must then rely on stored vites to allow him to foam. But what if he uses up all of those vites? That my friend is DANGEROUS.

He then takes out his vitehaler, which is like an inhaler. He breathes in, and vites stored in the vitehaler enter his body. Meepweepadeep then combines with saliva and he then foams. However, this foam is blue. That is because the vites stored inside the vitehaler are blue vites. They turn his saliva, and foam, blue. BLUE SALIVA FOR THE WIN!


Monday, June 10, 2013

#MAD

Ok, before i start my rant, I have to explain something to you.

There is a difference between a sexy fro and a fro.

You, my friend, can definetly pull off a fro, but you can NEVER EVER pull off a sexy fro.

You see, with fros, its not about whats on the inside, its about whats on the outside. You can have hair, veins, arteries, vites, and even meepweepadeep in your fro, but what matters is the sexituity of your fro.

K honeybooboos?

RANT TIME

GUESS WHAT

I'VE GOT MY CAPS LOCK ON

I MEAN BUSINESS

OK SO FRODO PROPOSED TO THE OLD HAG JANITOR SALIVA

IM SO SAD AND MAD











so tomorrow. wes be wedding crashin. You heres meh plan. 

KK so. No Priest. Just a clown instead.

The ring bearer? Gollum.

The flower girl? Voldemort. Ladeedadee flower throw KILL Ladeedadee flower throw KILL

The party afterword? Well, we be hosting a FLASH MOB FOLLOWED BY A FOOD FIGHT 

Frodo will be hung by his smallest toe and Janitor saliva will be tarred and feathered, but with sticky caramel and candy on top. 

They will dance and sing for us. We will thriw tomatoes. They will be candy-tortured. We will laugh. They will be RUINED. 



BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA

But somewhere, deep inside of me, there is still love for frodo. 


Haha no. 

Saturday, June 8, 2013

Janitor Saliva

So I bet you've all been wondering who fro did new girlfriend is. Frodo's girlfriend's name is Janitor Saliva.

She's a short little woman with short curly gray-yellow-white hair. She has glasses that she wears on the end of her nose.

She hunches of her short back, crosses her skinny little arm, and scowls at you, saying, "No running in the halls" with a strange accent and stern voice.

She will do that to you ANYWHERE. Literally. You'll be in the bath and she just POPS right up behind you, saying that. At night, when you drive into your driveway, you'll find her vacuuming your lawn, and telling you to stop running in the halls. When you go to sleep at night, she'll be standing in your  bed. She'll be hiding in your cabinet when you want a snack. She'll be right behind you when you take your test. She'll be chasing you when your running away from something terrifying. And sometimes, she'll be vacuuming YOU. You'll be stuck in her vacuum for all eternity.

Do you want to KNOW what she does for a living? She's a janitor. At your school. She will find you. She always does. Ain't never not finding you. She's waiting.







Now that you know a bit about frodo's girlfriend, what about Frodo? What does he do for a living? Well, he has two part time jobs.
1. Handing out pamphlets to people
2. Going in the trash can to retrieve the pamphlets thrown out by unworthy pedestrians.

Here's a word of advice. Never invite frodo to your birthday party. What he does is he gives you the amount of plastic knives as the amount of years you are. It's scary.

Friday, June 7, 2013

Whoops...

Hey guys.

It's me.

Writing to you from the Country Jail.

Run by the country bears.

I share a cell with a My little Pony. Such a queer, freaky thing. It's sniffing at the taters in my pockets. Personal bubble, man.

So, well,  I guess you want to know how I got here.

I committed a crime.

So today, when I was going to get some butterbeer with frodo- he was, he was

WITH

ANOTHER
WOMAN.

I was sooo mad. Spparently she was flirting with him, and he asked her out. I guess he's no longer upset over Andrew Jackson's death.

But seeing him flirting with  this little brat got something started in my heart.

My heart was beating so fast- I wanted to scream and blow up the world.
Iran out, fuming-but not to my house. To his new Girlfriend's house. I found her address on the internet.

That's how unsafe the internet is.

I went to her house, my body swathed in layers of black. I carried a large garbage bagf.

Ninja breaking her glass window, I jumped in the house, disabling the alarm system, and stole every thing she liked-her computer, Ipad, fancy diamond jewelry, other expensive heirlooms. I escaped the structure, hopping into my car, Intending to make a nice escape BUT

Let me help you understand. It was snowing today. like, a lot. Idk why but ok. And so when I backed up out of her driveway, the back of her car hit a snowbed. i didn't know that my license plate was engraved in the snow.

So, when the country bears came to the crime scene, and like, investigated and stuff, they saw my license plate, tracked me down, and put me behind bars.

So tomorrow, I await court.


Thursday, June 6, 2013

Frodo's Favorites

Sorry honeybooboos for such a late post!

Benn watching Lord of the Rings! :-)

And getting stalked by door-to-door advetisers. . . .

Hmmmmm Today, well, we are going to discuss Frodo's Favorites.

Frodo's favorite movies:

1, The Country Bear's (his mom forced him to watch it only a bajillion times)

2. My Little Pony Death (in this movie, all the my little ponies are eaten by phil Brandybuck.)

Who's Phil Brandybuck you may ask?

Well, Phil Brandybuck is the demented son of Merry brandybuck. He accidently jumped off a cliff at birth.

Anyway, he is admitted into Hogwarts at age 19. He scares everyone. they try to put him in St. Mungo's (the hospital) for mental disorders, but he either acts innocent or threatens to attack...

Luna describes him as "...dangerous and violent...so unintelligent that it's fatally violent..."

Phil Also stalks all the teachers on their facebooks and disturbs class time by discussing with the teacher's all their personal and private information.

Phil greets people by licking their hands. He also bites them.

Phil is under the influence that his mother is a chicken and lays eggs in peoples' refridgerators, and that's how you get your eggs.

Phil also gets into Ravenclaw... even though he is extremely, stupidly violent.

According to a fellow roomate, Paul, he "...smells of cheese. It is common for him to be caught biting people's fingers... he disturbs other's private life... has no respect for adults, or anyone else. I pretend to be his friend, because I am scared half to death that he will eat me... he is cannibalistic, he is, i find him eating things... well i shouldn't say...he's rude...only eats peas and carrots...not a prankster, not sneaky, just queer..."

Now, how does this freak relate to Frodo?

Well, after Phil's years at Hogwarts, he becomes a My Little Pony hunter, and attacks them for a living. This is the only safe way for him to express his violent manor. Phil executed the 'doctor' pony that attacked Frodo. They exchanged self phone numbers, and are now listed as "bff's" on each other's Facebooks.

Kkk back to Frodo's favorites.

Frodo LOVES any Princess movies. He actually dresses up like princesses often.

Ain't that

HOT?????

Omg guys. I have a confession to make.

I

have

a
crush

on

FOAMING FRODO WITH A FRO!

Not Frodo baggins. I've met him. he smells like fish. With a hint of unicorns. Yuck.

I think i'm in LOVE! ME AND FRODO= PERFECTION!

I'M GOING TO SEE THAT HOT GUY TOMORROW- WE'RE GOING TO THE GREEN DRAGON AND THEN THREE BROOMSTICKS!


MAYBE

HE'LL

ASK

ME

OUT!

Oh, the only reason why i'm crushing on him is because Andrew Jackson recent;y died... RIP man- I mean woman. so maybe we can be together now!

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Wednesday, June 5, 2013

Hey guys!

I just wanted to inform you that Frodo is ALL BETTER! The country bears gave him 6 gallons of lemonade, and the poison injected by the my little ponies faded away. We managed to capture frodo's attacker-which was actually Pinkie Pie- and she is in prison, and faced with torture-penalty.

Muhahahahhahahahahahaha.

So today, when I finished my history work, I worked on a diagram of frodo, and his family tree.

Frodo's parents are two country bears.

Frodo marries Andrew Jackson-NOT our 7th president. The one we are referring to is the child of Darth Vadar and Blue Saliva. This andrew jackson is secretely a woman, and it disguised itself as a man for 4 billion years. They are still married,  40 years later, although frodo complains that his wife "smells like unicorns."

Frodo and Andrew jackson have 36 kids, but only 1 survives. Her name is Sis Goose (*couch cough* come juneteenth reference*coughcough*) and she marries Gabe. But Sis Goose was like stolen from her family at like birth and was like given to this other like family so like yeah.

Gabe and Sis Goose have one kid: Voldemort. Voldemort then marries McGonagall, and they have two kids: A My Little Pony named Fro (who is later eaten by Voldemort) and Dumbledore.

Hope you can read this, Honeybooboo.

So, well, anyway. Fun fact! Frodo has two sections of his throat: the first and second section.

The section section is where foam exits the body.

In his body, veins transport waste and nutrients to other parts of him. 

In the center of his body, near his torso, he has a large organ, much like your stomach, that stores waste and nutrients until further use. 

Frodo also has no bones. He is constructed entirely of abootabelly. 

Abootabelly is soft flab made of mashed broccoli. It contains eeterneeter, thick slabs of chocolate that support his weight.

Frodo weighs hardly anything, a mere 19 pounds, so its no surprise that he can be held up by mashed broccoli and slabs of chocolate. 

Frodo cannot receive too much sun exposure (only an hour of 100°F+) or the eeterneeter will melt. this has occurred before, and Frodo needed to be frozen for 2 hours afterword in my freezer. 

BTW Frodo's fro is also made of cartiledge. 

KK DOLLFACES THANKS FOR READING! SEE YOU TOMORROW BBYCAKES! 

WE WILL ALSO BE POSTING OUR #1 FAN TOMORROW! THEY WILL RECEIVE A DRAWING REQUEST- REALISTIC OR CARTOONY!