Frodo Locka Socka 2

(Sorry for the absence, got 2 fat on fonzies and jam and taters lols haha #ha-Frodo's friend that runs the blog.)
Hey hey its Frodo here.

I was getting rather tired of this troll business. They often whacked me on the head with their stupid clubs while they made ‘music’.

I don’t want to be raised by these nitwits. They kept trying to feed me jam. I CAN’T EAT IT, YOU FOOLS. NO DIGESTIVE SYTEM, REMEMBER?

So, a month after being raised by these idiots, I have returned to the castle.

Baileyswift tended to my needs. He’s so good to me.

We had this “Welcome Back” feast of aromas. Oh it was delightful.

But, I realized I had to return to Prince School.

Dang nabbit fling flabbit.

At school, there were all these totes gorg princesses.

The Next day, I woke up, had those birds dress me, and went to school.

The princesses I met last time, like amber and Hildegard and Clio, all hid from me as I walked through the school halls.

Probs jealous of my beautiful new threads (I’m wearing a pink dress totes tubular right?).

That twerker James gave me dirty looks- probs cause I kicked his butt while we fenced. Ha. Hope to crush him and his girly friends again later today.

I went to my first class-gardening- with this kid Zandar and these new princesses.

Zandar never shut up about elephants and cannons. He said he and that wimp James build cannons all the time and eat epehphant shaped cookies (although James eats all kinds of cookies and jiggly wiggly pudding. He’s apparently a sugar addicted little kid. Wow. I wonder what he’s like on sugar. Is he fat? Obese?)

So, I approached one of the other princesses in gardening.

I smiled at her and said, “Hey babe. You’re as beautiful as that rose you got in your hands.”

She gasped, frowned at me, stomped my foot, and stormed away. “My name is Penellope, and I do not assosiate myself with Salivating Gnats!”

I honestly don’t know why she is offended. The rose she had in her hands was beautiful- black like burnt foam. Ahh, I love the smell of burnt foam.

The fat fairies assigned us a gardening partner. My partner was Mae. She was quite pretty, accept smelled like flowers. Ugh, I can’t live with that.

We were making Pantsing Pansies who were walking pansies that put pants on EVERYTHING when the door broke down.

Zandar screamed and cried and of the fat fairies comforted him. Through the dust and rubble, a fat child walked in.

It was Cubby, Ahh, cubby. The fat raisen shooting nightlock shooting manstealing manchild. I desperately wanted to feed him my foam, for he stole beautiful Lucinda from me.

Alas, he had gained like 900 pounds since I last encountered him.

He was that fat.

“So, we meet again,” I said with a scowl.

“Totes yes. But, THIS IS BUT A FRIENDLY GATHERING.I have a gift fo’ you.”

He handed me a jar of jam. It had a label, but I can’t read. It was okay, though because Cubby told me it was nightlock jam.

“I can’t eat this, dude, I have no digestive system!”

“Oh,” replied cubby, “I know. It’s okay. Just sniff it, one sniff and it will be the greatest moment of your life!”

“REALLY? WOW OMG LIKE YES I LOVE LIFE TBH HASHTAG YES HASHTHAG SWAG HASHTAG HASHTAGHASHTAG LIFE>LIFE HAHA OMG YAY! I NEED TO HAVE THE BEST MOMENT EVER LIKE YES CAN YOU YES!”

I began to unscrew the lid and was about to sniff the jam when I heard a “NO!”

Confused, I drop the jar. Cubby screams in horror, as the nightlock jam lands on his shoes. He drops to the ground, yelling, “I’M MELTING I’M MELTING.” I laugh, and dump more of the jam on him. “I’m melting, I’m melting.” He begins to cry as welts cover his body. He goes limp.

Two girls, twins, probs, run through the doors. They have fat cheeks. The hold this really huge tranquilizer gun in their hands.

When they speak, I realize they were the girls who shouted ‘NO’ before. They then see cubby on the ground, lift up the gun, and pull the trigger. Yellow liquid squirts out and douses Cubbby’s lifeless body.

A few moments later, I see him twitch. Drools comes out of his mouth. I bend over his body, dip my finger in his rool, and press it to my tongue.

“He is alive, unfortunately!” I announce. I turn to the twins, “Hey, what was in those guns?”
“Nightlock remedy,” one answers. “Nightlock kills you if you eat it, and, if you touch the juice, you can get rashes and if you smell it, you can go into a coma. Cubby, here, was trying to put you in a coma. I tried to stop him, but he ended up getting hurt himself.”

“Oh, thanks. But you didn’t have to save him. “ I replied.

All of the sudden, this guy with spiky black hair swinging on a vine wearing a shirt that reads ‘Hi I’m Jake’ just swings on in the classroom. Lol.

He lands on the floor and sees Cubby’s body. “Oh yeah tha chubby cubby is dead lolz”

Then cubby gets up and begins to dance.

Then some stuff happens but lolz I forgot and then I went home yay. I wonder what tomorrow shall bring for the Prince of LockaSocka.