We start off with another day at Royal Prepatory Academy, set in the middles of the hundred and something kingdoms of central earth. I moved here, from my home in America, in which I moved to America from my original planet:Planet Weird.
I awoke in my four poster tube. You know, I don't actually sleep. At night, I enter my tube, close my eyes, and foam. When you have foamitus, the foam keeps you awake forever. So, yep.
At 6 am, the birds come in my room and clothe me in beautiful garments of gold and silver. I'm so swaggy.
At breakfast, I sing my lovely songs, "TOP TOP BOTTEM BOTTEM MIDDLE MIDDLE MIDDLE!""I LIKE JAM AND PRESERVES I LIKE JAM AND PRESERVES I LIKE JAM AND PRESERVES BUT NOT JELLY NOT JELLY NEVER JELLY" AND 'IM STUCK IN A VENDING MACHINE' AND 'IM COVERED IN RUBBA CEMENT DA DOO DOO DOO!"
That's what I do when normal people would be eating. So yeah.
You know how people shower? Well, I don't. You know how animals lick themselves to bathe? Well, I don't do that eaither. Maybe you're guessing I bathe myself in my foam, but like heck no. I'm not that unclean. I use eyeball boogers that I collect from hundreds of people willing to donate to my cause. i lather the luscious eyeball goop lotion all over my body, leaving me smelling fresh of salty boogies.
It's quite clean. Try it sweetums.
And then, I'm off to school. I used to take a carriage, but that's old school. Now, I shoot myself out of a cannon and land on the school's property. It's exhileratinglyliciously painful. #muchouch
Today was an odd sort of day, however. I entered the school, and a tense feeling of tension made me stop. I stopped walking, and jumped on the floor. I smelled smells of smelliness as I wriggled my away over the smooth halls, when a smell of lemongrass entered my nostrils. I froze, abruptly. Lemongrass meant one thing: dragons.
"DRAGONS DRAGONS AT ROYAL PREP," I sceamed.
"Where?" asked the princes excitedly. "AHHH" shrieked the princesses.
Ahh, here is my chance
i can comfort the princesses and they will love me.
I approached hildegard, put my arm around her shoulder, and said, "I'm here for you."
She looked at me with eyes of disgust, and then, they widened. AHE SCREAMED SO LOUD AND THEN EVERYTHING BURST INTO FLAMES.
TO BE CONTINUED......
THE SUSPENSE IS KILLING YOU ISN'T IT
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