NEW SCIENTIFIC BREAKTHROUGH

So, Foamin Frodo with a Fro left Locka Socka today to visit Frodoland and saw a doctor for his monthly checkup.

The scientists did some test on his foam and realized it was lacking OogleySchnoods- a chemical necessary for Frodo's fro functions.

And- they found a way for frodo to get it into his system-

VEGETABLE SAUCE

or, how you "Normal Folk" call it: SALAD DRESSING.

Now, you know how Frodo has no digestive system and cannot eat.

But: Scientists at Foamitus Research found a way for the OogleySchnoop to enter his fro:

Through Tubes!

Yay! Tubes! He gets one pint of veggie sauce an hour for the next 3 weeks. 

So, I have to ask you guys a favor.

You know how the Holidays are coming up? 

It'll soon be Planet Weird's holiday of NookiePacookie. 

On this holiday, you exchange gifts with one person. Once you get that gift, you pass it on to another who you think would like it. And so on. Until you find the perfect gift. 

I got Frodo a bejeweled foam bucket. Except, I don't want him to know it's from ME. 

So, I'm passing it on to Bootychooska, who will give it to Lemonza, who will pass it to Choonki, who will then give it to Frodo. And I hope he keeps it! 

I wonder what I'll get'n'keep. 

Songs

So, I know you're all hopefully on the edge of your seat in suspense as of Frodo's last post

But

Like

Sorry

He's

Totes

Busy

So you have to wait

#whoopsies

But, I have songs. Songs my friends and I have written.

The first one goes like this:

TOP TOP

BOTTOM BOTTOM


MIDDLE MIDDLE MIDDLE


It's a song you sing with a group of people to annoy everyone else. It makes people scream at you. How lovely. You can repeat the lyrics as many times as you like.

My friend also made Violin/Piano Sheet music for it.

Next  song: My friend actually wrote it in honor of my obsession with jam:

I like jam and preserves

I like jam and preserves

I like jam and preserves

But not jelly

Not jelly

Because Jelly's one of those horrible things that nobody likes

So, yeah. Sing it sweetie.

Now the next one I wrote today. It's actually an opera. If you add an extra person (their part will be a different color) it adds a nice effect. However, their part should be lower. They also sing theirs at the same time as you sing your parts.

My name is Frodo

I'm a little queer

Maybe it's cause of my foamitus

I foam at the mouth

All the time

And that's why they call me Foamin Frodo with a Fro

And even though I foam all day

I foam so much at two o'clock that I 

Carry a foam bucket

I'm going to fill your bucket with foam, fill your bucket with foam, fill your bucket with foam

Foam Foam Foam

Fill your bucket, with foam, fill it with foam 

Foam Foam Foam

I'm going to fill your bucket with foam

Fill your  bucket with foam

Fill your bucket with foam fill your bucket with fill your bucket with foam

Fill it with foam Fill your bucket with foam

(Sing slowly) And so, I'm going to fill your bucket with foooooooooaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaammmmmmm


So yay! I'm thinking about making a Foamin Frodo with a Fro day, to help with foamitus awareness. Maybe the date will be January 17?

Frodo prince of Lockasocka part 3 part 2

The flames engulfed everything. I watched as the princess near me, Mae,  I believe her name was, slowly burned. The flames licked around her flesh, and what you think would have turned black, her skin became a tinge of soft, blush pink.

She began to giggle. I would have thought someone burning to death would be screaming beyond belief, but alas, she was filled with mirth. 

When the flames finally dispersed, all who were trapped in the fire's skin as tinged pink. 

"Pink?! " gasped a disgusted princess. "How can I be pink?!"

"Oh amber, don't complain, it's such a lovely color!" murmured Princess Hildegard.

Amber looked aghast. "on dresses, maybe, but on me!?! Wait until daddy hears about this! What heartless soul has ruined my beauty?"

"I have!" Came a childish giggle. And out popped the green dragon I saw before. But on it, rode a child robed in black, wearing a yellow tie and a gray sweater. Behind the child were three more dressed identically, except for the color of their tie.

The yellow-tied child kept off the dragon, ad piped up in her obnoxious squeek, "I'm Penelope! I'm a Hufflepuff!"

I replied, "What on this barren, jam forsaken fonzielicious planet is a Hufflepuff."

The yellow tied freak giggled. "Hufflepuffs go to a wonderful school filled with love called hogwarts. It's a school for wizards and witches filled with love-"

"SHUT UP YOU IDIOT CHILD ALL I HEAR YOU IDIOT HUFFLEPUFFS YIP YAPABOUT IS STINKING LOVE FILLED EVERYTHING AND YADAYADAYADA HAPPINESS  AND IM DONE! I HATE YOU HUFFLEPUFFS FOR BEING STUPID. I HATE GRYFFINDOR'S BC I DO. AND I HATE RAVENCLAWS FOR BEInG SMARTER-" bellowed the green tied child. 

"I'm like soooo smart, I just am." Says the child with a tie of blue. Se said it in those cliche popular freaks kind of voice. 

Penelope speaks up in her extra cheery yip yap "Oh, yes, those are students filled with love. The girl is Sandra, she's a Ravenclaw-"

"you're totes right I ammmm."

"Yes, and the boy is-" 

"I'm a boy! I'm brave for being a boy!" Shouts out the boy with the red tie. 

"You sure are happiness keeper. As I was saying, the boy with the green tie is-"

"READY TO RIP OUT YOUR INTESTINES AND FEED THEM TO MY COW YOU SLIMY SCUMBAGS I HATE YOU YOU LITTLE PRATS ('pratts' are buttocks)!" Interrupts the boy with the green tie.

"I'm brave for being a Pratt!" Says the boy with the red tie.

"That's quite lovely you bucket fillers! Wow! I love everything about you guys becaus e you are filled with love! The boy filled with love wearing green is Schnoop and he's a Slytherin, and the other child of joy is Xavier. He's a Gryffindor."  Finishes Penelope. 

"Oh, you fools! Why do yo even have a dragon?" Asks amber.

"Because we're like so totes brave," answers Sandra. 

"I'm brave when I go to the potty all by myself!" Xavier says.

"SHUT YOUR MOUTH YOU OBNOXIOUS GRYFFINDOR I HATE YOU AND YOU AND YOU AND EVERYONE OF YOU!" Schnoop snaps.

"That's not very love,y, schnoop! It should be more like I love you and you and you and you and you and you and you and you and you and you and you and you and you and youand you and you and you and you and you and you and you and you and you and you and you and you and you and you and you and you and you and youand you and you and you and you and you and you and you and you and you AND EVERYONE!" giggles Penelope. 

"Okay, but what are Hufflepuffs and Slytherins and RAVENCLAWS and Gryffindors?" Asks hildegard. 

"They're are houses! They're filled with love!" Says Penelope.

"RAVENCLAWS are like so smart. They just are" Sandra says with cliche popular girl zest.

"SLYTHERINS JUST HATE EVERYONE AND EVERYTHING LIKE THIS DUMBBUTT TIE AND THESE STUPID CLOTHES I HATE IT ALL UGH THE STRUGGLE!"

"I'm brave for being a Gryffindor! And not screaming when a fly landed on my toe!" 

"Yes, and Hufflepuffs, well, what even does a Hufflepuff do?" asks Penelope. 

"AIN'T NO ONE KNOWS IN THIS LIFE YOU IDIOT PUFF!"

"I like probs  know cuz I like know everytthang." Sandra snaps.

"I'm brave when I know stuff!" Xavier smiles.

"Okay, but why am I pink!? Fix it!!!!!" Cries amber.

"It will be fixed if you are filled with love!" Penelope answers.

"I know how to fix it cuz I'm like soooo smart." Sandra snaps.

"I'm brave when I wash my hands with regular soap not antibacterial soap as not using antibacterial soap will not fend off germs, henceforth I may get infected by germs." says Xavier, nervously.

"Ugh, you people are hopeless!" yelps amber, through mouthfuls of tears.Hildegard fans amber's face thoroughly. "I cannot be pink forever, I need my lovely complexion! I need my fabulous skin tone! I-I-" and then a scream of hers fills the Halls, so loud and powerful that at once everyone's hands were pressed again to her ears. "I NEED MY PROPER SKIN BACK I AM NO PINK DIED FERRET! EEERRRAAAUUUUGGGGGHHHHHH!!" 

"WOW WITH PIPES LIKE THAT YOU CAN BE A SLYTHERIN YOU IDIOT PRINCESS!"

"SHUT UP AND LEAVE ME A LONE! YOU HAVE RUINED ME! AND YOU KNOW WHAT I'LL DO? I-I-ILL WAGE WAR ON YOU STUPID WITCHES AND WIZARDS! YES, NOW THERE SHALL BE A BATTLE, ROYALTY VERSUS WIZARDRY!"

A chorus of gasps filled the halls. 

PART THEE PART THREE COMING UP LATER! 

Haha to be continued...

Frodo Prince of Locka Socka Part 3

Now back to me, your lovely Foamin Frodo with a Fro.

We start off with another day at Royal Prepatory Academy, set in the middles of the hundred and something kingdoms of central earth. I moved here, from my home in America, in which I moved to America from my original planet:Planet Weird.

I awoke in my four poster tube. You know, I don't actually sleep. At night, I enter my tube, close my eyes, and foam. When you have foamitus, the foam keeps you awake forever. So, yep.

At 6 am, the birds come in my room and clothe me in beautiful garments of gold and silver. I'm so swaggy.

At breakfast, I sing my lovely songs, "TOP TOP BOTTEM BOTTEM MIDDLE MIDDLE MIDDLE!""I LIKE JAM AND PRESERVES I LIKE JAM AND PRESERVES I LIKE JAM AND PRESERVES BUT NOT JELLY NOT JELLY NEVER JELLY" AND 'IM STUCK IN A VENDING MACHINE' AND 'IM COVERED IN RUBBA CEMENT DA DOO DOO DOO!"

That's what I do when normal people would be eating. So yeah.

You know how people shower? Well, I don't. You know how animals lick themselves to bathe? Well, I don't do that eaither. Maybe you're guessing I bathe myself in my foam, but like heck no. I'm not that unclean. I use eyeball boogers that I collect from hundreds of people willing to donate to my cause. i lather the luscious eyeball goop lotion all over my body, leaving me smelling fresh of salty boogies.

It's quite clean. Try it sweetums.

And then, I'm off to school. I used to take a carriage, but that's old school. Now, I shoot myself out of a cannon and land on the school's property. It's exhileratinglyliciously painful. #muchouch

Today was an odd sort of day, however. I entered the school, and a tense feeling of tension made me stop. I stopped walking, and jumped on the floor. I smelled smells of smelliness as I wriggled my away over the smooth halls, when a smell of lemongrass entered my nostrils. I froze, abruptly. Lemongrass meant one thing: dragons.

"DRAGONS DRAGONS AT ROYAL PREP," I sceamed.

"Where?" asked the princes excitedly. "AHHH" shrieked the princesses.

Ahh, here is my chance

i can comfort the princesses and they will love me.

I approached hildegard, put my arm around her shoulder, and said, "I'm here for you."

She looked at me with eyes of disgust, and then, they widened. AHE SCREAMED SO LOUD AND THEN EVERYTHING BURST INTO FLAMES.

TO BE CONTINUED......

THE SUSPENSE IS KILLING YOU ISN'T IT

Under the Sea

Isn't it awkward when you just wake up, floating in the middle of the sea, realising that your legs have been replaced by a large, blue fin?

I think it is.

Because this is the third time it's happened!

So, I went to bed in LockaSocka-in my four poster bed. When I woke up, I was surrounded by water and little fishies.

I know your probably concerned- but yes, I can breathe.

You know how my foam contains vitamins and nutrients (see previous posts if you don't understand). It also contains the gas Hoochiepoochienoochie, which I inhale. That's what I breathe.

So, I have no idea why I am here, but in the meantime I'll make some macaroni by boiling crawfish and sautaying the drool of whale-fungi.

TTYL XOXO :D

Frodododododoness

Look at it.

Come on.

Look.

I dare you.

Frodo Locka Socka 2

(Sorry for the absence, got 2 fat on fonzies and jam and taters lols haha #ha-Frodo's friend that runs the blog.)
Hey hey its Frodo here.

I was getting rather tired of this troll business. They often whacked me on the head with their stupid clubs while they made ‘music’.

I don’t want to be raised by these nitwits. They kept trying to feed me jam. I CAN’T EAT IT, YOU FOOLS. NO DIGESTIVE SYTEM, REMEMBER?

So, a month after being raised by these idiots, I have returned to the castle.

Baileyswift tended to my needs. He’s so good to me.

We had this “Welcome Back” feast of aromas. Oh it was delightful.

But, I realized I had to return to Prince School.

Dang nabbit fling flabbit.

At school, there were all these totes gorg princesses.

The Next day, I woke up, had those birds dress me, and went to school.

The princesses I met last time, like amber and Hildegard and Clio, all hid from me as I walked through the school halls.

Probs jealous of my beautiful new threads (I’m wearing a pink dress totes tubular right?).

That twerker James gave me dirty looks- probs cause I kicked his butt while we fenced. Ha. Hope to crush him and his girly friends again later today.

I went to my first class-gardening- with this kid Zandar and these new princesses.

Zandar never shut up about elephants and cannons. He said he and that wimp James build cannons all the time and eat epehphant shaped cookies (although James eats all kinds of cookies and jiggly wiggly pudding. He’s apparently a sugar addicted little kid. Wow. I wonder what he’s like on sugar. Is he fat? Obese?)

So, I approached one of the other princesses in gardening.

I smiled at her and said, “Hey babe. You’re as beautiful as that rose you got in your hands.”

She gasped, frowned at me, stomped my foot, and stormed away. “My name is Penellope, and I do not assosiate myself with Salivating Gnats!”

I honestly don’t know why she is offended. The rose she had in her hands was beautiful- black like burnt foam. Ahh, I love the smell of burnt foam.

The fat fairies assigned us a gardening partner. My partner was Mae. She was quite pretty, accept smelled like flowers. Ugh, I can’t live with that.

We were making Pantsing Pansies who were walking pansies that put pants on EVERYTHING when the door broke down.

Zandar screamed and cried and of the fat fairies comforted him. Through the dust and rubble, a fat child walked in.

It was Cubby, Ahh, cubby. The fat raisen shooting nightlock shooting manstealing manchild. I desperately wanted to feed him my foam, for he stole beautiful Lucinda from me.

Alas, he had gained like 900 pounds since I last encountered him.

He was that fat.

“So, we meet again,” I said with a scowl.

“Totes yes. But, THIS IS BUT A FRIENDLY GATHERING.I have a gift fo’ you.”

He handed me a jar of jam. It had a label, but I can’t read. It was okay, though because Cubby told me it was nightlock jam.

“I can’t eat this, dude, I have no digestive system!”

“Oh,” replied cubby, “I know. It’s okay. Just sniff it, one sniff and it will be the greatest moment of your life!”

“REALLY? WOW OMG LIKE YES I LOVE LIFE TBH HASHTAG YES HASHTHAG SWAG HASHTAG HASHTAGHASHTAG LIFE>LIFE HAHA OMG YAY! I NEED TO HAVE THE BEST MOMENT EVER LIKE YES CAN YOU YES!”

I began to unscrew the lid and was about to sniff the jam when I heard a “NO!”

Confused, I drop the jar. Cubby screams in horror, as the nightlock jam lands on his shoes. He drops to the ground, yelling, “I’M MELTING I’M MELTING.” I laugh, and dump more of the jam on him. “I’m melting, I’m melting.” He begins to cry as welts cover his body. He goes limp.

Two girls, twins, probs, run through the doors. They have fat cheeks. The hold this really huge tranquilizer gun in their hands.

When they speak, I realize they were the girls who shouted ‘NO’ before. They then see cubby on the ground, lift up the gun, and pull the trigger. Yellow liquid squirts out and douses Cubbby’s lifeless body.

A few moments later, I see him twitch. Drools comes out of his mouth. I bend over his body, dip my finger in his rool, and press it to my tongue.

“He is alive, unfortunately!” I announce. I turn to the twins, “Hey, what was in those guns?”
“Nightlock remedy,” one answers. “Nightlock kills you if you eat it, and, if you touch the juice, you can get rashes and if you smell it, you can go into a coma. Cubby, here, was trying to put you in a coma. I tried to stop him, but he ended up getting hurt himself.”

“Oh, thanks. But you didn’t have to save him. “ I replied.

All of the sudden, this guy with spiky black hair swinging on a vine wearing a shirt that reads ‘Hi I’m Jake’ just swings on in the classroom. Lol.

He lands on the floor and sees Cubby’s body. “Oh yeah tha chubby cubby is dead lolz”

Then cubby gets up and begins to dance.

Then some stuff happens but lolz I forgot and then I went home yay. I wonder what tomorrow shall bring for the Prince of LockaSocka.

FRODO'S clothes dilemma

Clothes are messed up nowadays.

Like seriously.

Our founding fathers decided to have their children make  clothes for the purpose OF COVERING UP THEMSELVES AND KEEPING THEM WARM

But what's the stinkin pointy of clothes if they show your TUM TUM, are see through, are cut up, have holes in them, have no back, are so short they show your tooshie, etc.

Like those shirts with holes where the choulders are. My shoulders are HAIRY

NO

ONE

NEEDS

TOO

SEE

THEM.

Or like the clothes that show your TUM TUM. I don't have a belly button but I do have a cookie door. If I open the cookie door all the blood and stuff in my tummy comes out. Little kids might think it is a real cookie and take it and try to eat it. Then everything wil come out of my tummy and I'll need surgery and have to file all sorts of paperwork and it's just like hashtag no

I

NEED

MY

TUMMY

INSIDES

ON

THE


INSIDE

And also.  Why do clothes have really wide necks I mean like can't your clothes just slide off like whoops. And v-necks, seriously, again, they go so low that people will see my cookie door.

I

LIKE

MY

NECKS

NORMAL

And don't even get me started on tank tops because the straps are so long you have to weigh at least 700 pounds to fit in them like why must I live in a world of walking angus chunky beefs

I NEED TO GO HOME

TO PLANET WEIRD


WHERE WE ALL WEAR NICE THICK WOOLEN CLOTHES THAT AREN'T SEE THROUGH, HOLEY, RIPPED P, WEIRD NECKED AND BREECHES MADE FROM THE FINEST OF FABRICS THAT DONT SHOW YOUR TOOSHIE

AMERICA IS THIS TOO MUCH TO ASK?



ORARE YOU TOO CHEAP FOR NORMAL FABRICS.

MARK MY WORDS I WILL NEVER BUY FROM YOUR FRICKYFREAKY FRESH STORES OF INAPROPRONESS

Frodo The Prince of LockaSocka

Foamin Frodo with a Fro at your service!

I feel obligated to explain to you the greatest days of my life (which happens to be today and the days before)

I, Foamin Frodo with a Fro, is a  Prince.

I awoke to the racket of trumpeting and a deafening rasp on my front door. Still groggy, I hobble over and open the door. Their stands a gaggle of armor-clad soliders.

"Good Morrow, Prince Frodo! We have arrived upon your departure to your kingdom LockaSocka," announces one of the soliders.

"Wh'aaat."

"Oh, have you not been informed? You are a Prince, I have come to take you to your home, where you will attend Prince and Princess school."

"Shut up. Are you for jiggglywiggly pudding REAL?"

"Yes, of course. Come on, aboard the carriage!" The Solider motions for him to follow.

"Wait- one question- I mean, i trust you you random strangers and stuff but like, are the princess hot?"

"Totally. Hot like wasabi sauce in the morning roasted on a chicken loaf of ham."

"I AM TOTES THERE BABY! But first- lemme put on my best clothes." So like I went to my room and put on my cowboy boots and my gray polka dot button down with my pinstripe skirt. Like I looked so gorg like i was too gorg for you. i was fabulous.

We then boarded the carriage and the magical pegasi flew me to a kingdom of grandituity. It was huge, at least a thousand times larger than my house made of straw (the three little pigs give good advice fyi). They gave me some really cool clothes- Tight tan pants with a blue fancy coat. They did my Fro all nice. I was the hottest froamie of all time. Lols.

My room was really big. It had a nice giant bath tub (with actual hot water!), a hot coccoa machine, a doll house for my barbies, a walk in closet with lots of clothes I'll never wear, tiara, a canopy bed, a balcony, a study desk, and more.

Plus, I got a GOLDEN foam bucket! WHOO!

Dinner was totes fabulous.

We had white chocolate bread.

And chicken made with REAL meet.

And Jiggly wiggly pudding.

Yumalicious.

I went to bed last night AFTER WE PLAYED JUST DANCE. I sucked.

The next morning, the castle steward, Baileyswift, helped me get dressed and ready for my big day.

"So, what will I learn at my Prince school? How to execute those who dare defy me? How to Kill dragons?"

"No, I am afraid not. You will learn how to pour the perfect cup of tea, ballroom dance, put up with bratty princesses and concieted princes, etc."

"Oh."

I arrived at school in my golden carriage. I thought I would look all swiggity swaggy cubbby style, but turns out, all the other princesses and princes arrive in carriages too.

But whoah. The girls were so purdy. they had big poofy gowns. I walked up to one.

"Hi like whats your name im frodo how do you do can i kiss you suga lips?"

"Ummm-I am Princess Clio of Corinthia. I am like eight so like no."

"WhOa YoU'rE so little! Do you have any poptarts? Animal crackers? Juice Boxes? Crayons? Can I borrow them? What color is your pacifier? Does it taste good? Or does it taste like your saliva? Does your saliva taste good? Mine tastes like a bit of honeydew and freshly mowed grasss...."

"I don't mean to be rude, but what is coming from your mouth? It smells so putrid!" She gasps, ithink she was impressed.

"I take it putrid means delicious. Yes, it does taste marvelous." I grin at her. She screams and runs away.

School's pretty cool. these fat fairies teach me how to coursty and ballroom dance. I got to dance with this babe Amber. Pretty girl. I think she has a nice personality I don't know. I was just focused on how beautiful she was. pRETTTTTY.

Everyone at school seems to look at me with mouths wide open because they're impressed with how beautiful me and my foam is. I know. Im totes fabu.

In fencing I fenced with this prince names james. He kept stabbing me in the belly. I think I'm pretty good at fencing.

At lunch I sat next to this kid Prince Desmond. He seemed really intriegued by my foam. He asked me lots of questions about it. I got kinda scared, so I spit foam in his face. Then I ran an hid in the bathroom. Then I realized it was the Princess Bathroom. This princess named hildegard slapped me when she saw me crying in the sinks. It really hurt. It made me cry some more. Then she threatened to have her stupid pet mink bite me. I whispered, "Pretty."

In art class, I painted with this girl named Vivian. She's really good at paintining. But I knew I could paint better than her. I painted a picture of me and my friend. Wait what am i talking about I ain't got no friends.

Then, school ended. This princess, sofia or something, invited me to her castle. AND OMG HER SISTER IS AMBER THAT PURDY PRINCESS I DANCED WITH. Her brother was Prince James, that guy who's butt I whooped in fencing. Haha. he;s probably pretty embaressed to see me at his house- his competitor who crushed him in the compitition.

Me and Sofia talked for a while. I really started to like her. I think I was in love. I loved her very much. So much that when I when I was supposed to leave, I bowed down to her, holding out the ring pop I was sucking on for at least five years, and asked her to marry me. She was like, "That's very ummm sweet but heck no." And she slammed the door in my face. I ran home crying.

I wept myself to sleep. It was a sad, sad day. I snuggled with my dollie Tai Kwon Joe and gently lathered myself with lemon Lotion. I covered my face with glitter glue. I rubber cemented my eyes shut. When morning came, I refused to eat breakfast until-

Whoah there. Someone hot was at my door. She had long black hair tied back into ponytails. She wore a long pointy witch hat. She had a very pretty dress- not a princess gown- but a dress. She also had a cloak, and carried a stick and a broom. I thought she was a maid.

"Hi what's your name? I am MR. YOURFUTURBOYFRIEND."

She giggled. "My name's Lucinda."

"What a nice name. You look gorg-"

'Thanks, but I'm taken. By Cubby, the pirate." Right then, a really fat little kid walked in, holding a chicken leg.

"Hai, I'm cubby!" he said. Then, he lifted up his shirt, squeezed his tummy, and a raisen flew out, into my mouth.

"I also shoot nightlock, teehee."

"Oh, Lovely," I replied.

"Whas that. cumin from yer mouth? Is it food? i LIKE ME FOOD!!!!"

"Ummm, no," I reply. "It's foam. And unless you want fosmitus, I suggest you don't eat it."

"oH shoot!" he groaned.

Then Lucinda spoak up. "Well, Nice meeting you Frodo- But I've gotta go! Come on Cubby, let's go hex innocent people!" Then, they hopped on her broom, and rode away.

I then had to go to Prince School. I had to have a tea party with this creepy kid jin and his sister Jun.

I was then trampled by this concieted punk named Hugo riding his flying horse. Oh. So masculine. Riding a flying unicorn.

I also studied sorcery and other stuff. It was really fun.

But then: I made my best friend. A troll. In a cave. Named Tinkle. He and his other troll friends asked me to live with them, and they are raising me as their own. It is fabulous. So, like, bai.

Back

I'm tots sorrles for my absence.

I'll tell you what happened. I accidently drank Frodo's foam. he thought is would be funny if he replaced my root beer float with a root beer FOAM. I didn't think so.

For one, it tasted like boogers blended on high for 15 minutes, with some popcorn and clay as well as burnt mud, metal,liquid metal, frozen cow manuor, sautayed lava, friend fingers, etc. It was nassssssty yes precious.

NAAAASSSSSTTTTTTTTTYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

BUT IT ALSO GAVE ME A SLIGHT TEMPORARY  CASE OF FOAMITUS

Yes. It was torture. I foamed all day. 20 gallons a minute. I had to be injected medicine in my toenails to keep me from foaming.

BUT AFTER A MONTH I AM BETTER C:

So. Lesson.  Don't drink frodo's foam.  

Frodo Summerr camp!

You wan to foam like frodo? Well, now you can! Come join Frodo camp from JUly 17-July 32 and August 1-August 20!

We have many activities:

Foam-gun fights

Breechswordfights

Lessons on how to foam

Foam eating contest

Cooking with foam

Preserving the foam

Dancing with Frodo

Study frodo's family trees

Frodo sports


AND MOREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE


WE DO PLAYS FROM FRODOLAND AND KIDS LEARN FRODOSCHNEZIAN!


WANT TO JOIN THE FUN? CALL US AT 444-444-4446 OT JOIN

FOR QUESTIONS OR COMMENTS CALL US AT 444-444-4445

FOR CONCERNS OR CHILD ALLERGENS CALL US AT 444-444-4444

FOR A FREE COMPLIMENT ON YOUR HAIRSTYLE CALL US AT 444-444-4443

FOR FREE ICE CREAM AND CAKE CALL US AT 444-444-4442

IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO COME TO THE FRODO FOAM TESTING EXTRAVAGANZA ON JULY 18TH, CALL US AT 444-444-4441

FOR ANGRY HATE MAIL, DON'T CALL US AT ALL :-)


THANK YOU! :-}

EMAIL US AT BOBTHEBUILDER@FAKEEMAILS.COM


AND HAVE A HAPPY BIRTHDAY ALL YOU BANNANA PEPPERS OUT THERE


O'ER THE RAINBOW













SOMEWHERE O'ER THE RAINBOW



HAVE A HAPPY JULY TRICK OR TREATING VIA JULY 31

Prizes and Sorrows

Ok so guys I'm sorry.

I'm just so sorry. I just feel so sad and I understand if you guys like hate me or something because I do right now.

I've been so inactive.


I'm such a terrible person, ok? Admit it, being inactive when all my fans are very loyal is just terrible. I'm terrible. I'm evil.

I want to thank you all for beng there for me and I'm sorry If i haven't been on much but please tell me what you want to see more of on my blog. Ok?


I AM SORRY OK!!??

Froamies so today as an 'I am Sorry' gift I will give you all a free pair of breches.

To redeem this prize, all you have to do is go to your local foodstore, go down the third isle, and right by the potato chips, you'll find a small green key.

take that key and travel to your local ice cream shop (works at any ice cream store) and unlock the ice cream case where they store the ice cream.

Yes, you can take some ice cream, but you will also find in their a large yellow rock.

take that rock, and travel to your local butcher shop.

Throw the rock at the front window. Make sure it breaks the window.

This special, yellow rock turns the glass into a hard candy.

Take a shard of the broken candy-glass, and race towards your police station.

Enter and go to the 22nd cell. Insert the candy glass into the keyhole. Turn three times clockwise and 12 times counterclockwise.

If you do it right, a jar of jam should fall from the ceiling. If you do it wrong, an alarm will sound off and you'll be arrested for breaking and entering.

Take the jar of jam, open it, and take out a spoonful of jam.

Now, go to the nearest zoo and stick that spoon of jam into the tiger den.

if no tiger is present, travel to another zoo. Once the tiger eats the jam, ask him the following: where nugget must nugget i nugget go nugget to nugget find nugget the nugget breaches  nugget?" He will reply directions to find your free pair of breeches.

Congrats!

OK WELL I ALSO HAVE A SONG FOR YOU ABOUT FRODO AT THE BEACH!

It's a song about wrong choices, sorrows, regrets and pain. It's a song about how animals shape our lives. Its a song about ignorance, arrogance, and talent. This song will change your life. this song will change you.

I was swimming out in the deep blue sea,

Farther than the lifegaurd could see,

And then he called right out to me,

"Hay there by your out to far,

Come on closer, reach the earthenware jar! "

But I said then, "Nonono! I will be a gymnastics star!

I curled right into a ball,

washed away the fears of fall,

extended my arms into a great big sprawl
and rolled around, top of the water.

ROLLING, ROLLING

Sumersalting over the water,

Held above the wet surface.

I rolled on on, on and on, till I saw, a shark's big face.

He gave me  a toothey grin of malice,

And then screamed so loud, it made my heart race!

ROLLING, ROLLING

Sumersalting over the water, 

Held above the wet surface. 

I continued to turn, roll and twist,

'Till I met a sailer's fist.

"get away now now, I'm sailin from here to the waters' mist! 

Cross me again and I'll make you cry like a little fly!"

And then I started rolling again!

ROLLING, ROLLING

Sumersalting over the water, 

Held above the wet surface. 

I heard a splash, a plop plop plop,

A whale came flying through the top

Blowing through, with a slop! 

I sumersalted on his back,

Its scales wet and cold, for a fact.

It lept so high, so high but ACK! 

Fraid of heights I am! 

But now I was flying, wonderin where i'd land! 

In the trees of the forest or on the beach in the sand? 

Sliding down old whaley's back, what a joy!

Till I reached his tail, oh boy! 

He flung me over his head and I soared!

I screamed for more!

Swooped in a castle, breakin the windows.

A big plump woman shrieked 'Oh no!

Don't sit on me, you know where you'll go!" 

And when I landed on her laps, 

the gaurds had given me a real good slap! 

Carried me down to the dungeon rats,

never again see the light of day.

That is where I stay today,

rolling round on the ground all day.

Never tire, never stop, till they fill my food tin with clay. 

Mmmm dinner...

You like my song guys? It's brilliant and tragic right? I hope we hit the charts! 

Ultimate Food Fight

Now you know how to have a Breechswordfight, but do you know how to have a food fight? No? Well here's how.

First off, food fights are NOT good for things like FFWAF. All that food mixed together smells gross to him and he'll suffocate and die. Probably. IDK because we haven't tried it cuz we think he'll die.

This is how we have a food fight. The right way. The perfect way. the only way.

Step 1. Go to the food market and get lots of food. A ton of food. In fact, buy everything the store owns. If you don't have enough money to do that, you need to at least purchase these foods or similar foods.
Pie
Ice cream
Cake
Frosting
Donuts
Chile
Hamburgers
Anything slimy and sticky
Popsicles
Nectarines
Oranges (peeled)
Meats
Gummy Bears

And anything else you want :-)

Step 2. Construct 10 Candy Cannons and 10 Cookers Catapults. (ceck out foodweapons.com for a step by step instructions on how to build them)>

Step 3. Fill each candy cannon with round foods, such as carefully spooned out ice cream., oranges, nectarines, and apples(optional). Place foods such as cake, pies, meat, etc on top of Cookers Catapults. You can place anything, preferably large edible objects, on the catapults.

Step 4. Bring all your supplies to a local gym, an open field, or any other large, open space. Split the area down the middle with tape, or, if you're going all-food creative, split it with a line of licorice. Set up an equal number of supplies on each side of area. Place open foods on top of tables.

Step 5. Gather large groups of individuals and sepperate them into two teams. The way you divide is optional.

Step 6. You are ready to begin. there are no rules except do not kill anyone! :-) Please note, if you do not wish to get all dirty, please wear smocks!

During the game, you can catapult and throw food. You may not cross the line seppearting each team. Choosing a winning team is optional. To decide who wins, you see which side is smellier. Frodo may offer to do a smell check to determine which side is stinkier. remember, he can only withstand the intoxicating fumes for ten minutes, or else he will get some bad bad booboos.