Whoops...

Hey guys.

It's me.

Writing to you from the Country Jail.

Run by the country bears.

I share a cell with a My little Pony. Such a queer, freaky thing. It's sniffing at the taters in my pockets. Personal bubble, man.

So, well,  I guess you want to know how I got here.

I committed a crime.

So today, when I was going to get some butterbeer with frodo- he was, he was

WITH

ANOTHER
WOMAN.

I was sooo mad. Spparently she was flirting with him, and he asked her out. I guess he's no longer upset over Andrew Jackson's death.

But seeing him flirting with  this little brat got something started in my heart.

My heart was beating so fast- I wanted to scream and blow up the world.
Iran out, fuming-but not to my house. To his new Girlfriend's house. I found her address on the internet.

That's how unsafe the internet is.

I went to her house, my body swathed in layers of black. I carried a large garbage bagf.

Ninja breaking her glass window, I jumped in the house, disabling the alarm system, and stole every thing she liked-her computer, Ipad, fancy diamond jewelry, other expensive heirlooms. I escaped the structure, hopping into my car, Intending to make a nice escape BUT

Let me help you understand. It was snowing today. like, a lot. Idk why but ok. And so when I backed up out of her driveway, the back of her car hit a snowbed. i didn't know that my license plate was engraved in the snow.

So, when the country bears came to the crime scene, and like, investigated and stuff, they saw my license plate, tracked me down, and put me behind bars.

So tomorrow, I await court.